Hard Yes or Hell No
How many decisions do you think you make in a week? More importantly, what is your criteria for making a decision?
I distinctly remember learning how to make decisions at a young age. I was sat down at the kitchen table and told to make a list of all the pros and all the cons. Write the reasons I should or shouldn't do things. And that's just what I did.
At that moment, I became a rational thinker.
It's at that exact same moment that a little fire inside of me was extinguished [only to be relit later].
Do you have a similar experience? Were you ever taught to be a rational decision maker?
Chances are, whether you've got a similar experience or not, that you're a rational decision maker. Think about everything you choose to do rationally:
Buy the "sensible" car
Live in the "sensible" house
Put your 401k into the "safe" investment
Agree to bullshit happy hours because it might help your career
Kiss ass to people at work to get a promotion
Say yes to bullshit and time wasting projects at work
Date somebody because they "look good on paper"
Surround yourself with "safe" friends because you know they won't do you wrong
Never start your own business because the economy just isn't right
This list could go another mile long, and there would be no end in sight. We're taught to make rational decisions. To decide with our head, and figure out what decisions "make the most sense".
Rational decisions don't lead to happiness. They lead to a place of safety. They lead towards mediocrity. They lead towards being bland. They lead to an unfulfilled and "normal" life.
Rational decisions lead straight to the grave.
Here's a challenge for you: this week make a few decisions with your heart, not your head. Shut off that rational brain. Don't be logical, be emotional.
When you've got a decision sitting before you, here are your only two options. It's either a hard yes or it's a hell no. There is zero space between the two. There is no gray area for pros and cons. There is no sleeping on it. Hard yes or hell no, which is it?
This week, when you've got a moment to decide, make a snap decision. When you are given an option, listen to your gut for 2 seconds. If in those two seconds you don't find the resounding "fuck yes, let's do this", then the answer is no. It's as simple as that.
Any answer that is anything less than "fuck yes" is a "no". It's just that simple. If you sit and think about the answer for longer than two seconds, the answer is no. If you don't want to do it, the answer is no. If you're on the fence, the answer is no.
When the coworker asks you to join in for a meeting, is it a "fuck yes"?
When your friends are getting together for a Zoom call, is it a "fuck yes"?
When you partner asks if you want to do a movie night on Friday, is it a "fuck yes"?
When the barista asks you is you want extra espresso, is it a "fuck yes"?
It's one of the two: it's either a "fuck yes" or it's no. There is zero in between. Try it on for size. Try it for a day, for a week, for a lifetime. Listen to your gut reaction. Go express who you are.
Stop being rational, stop being average, stop being safe.
Nothing exceptional in life comes from being sensible. If you want average, then continue on with your rationality. Average decisions will always result in an average life. If you want more in life, throw rationality aside. Decide with a "fuck yes" or "hard no". Live with your heart, not your head.